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  • Writer's pictureKiki Maree

P is for Pleasure

Understanding Pleasure: Its Importance, Sources, and Neurochemical Foundations Pleasure is a fundamental and multifaceted experience that shapes our choices, behaviors, and overall well-being. Understanding its nature and origins can offer insights into our motivations, habits, and ways to enrich our lives. In this blog post, we will delve into the nuances of pleasure, its physiological underpinnings, and its pinnacle manifestation in orgasmic states.

1. What is Pleasure? Pleasure is the feeling of contentment, joy, or satisfaction derived from an experience. It can be subtle or intense, fleeting or long-lasting, and can originate from a wide range of sources. Its opposite, pain, is a noxious feeling that we generally seek to avoid. Both pleasure and pain play pivotal roles in the evolutionary process, guiding organisms towards behaviors that enhance survival and reproduction.

2. Ways We Can Feel Pleasure Pleasure is not monolithic. Its sources can be broadly categorized as:

  • Sensory Pleasures: These are derived directly from our five senses. Examples include the taste of your favourite dish, the sensation of a massage, the scent of a lover, watchign the sunrise, or the sound of a beloved song.

  • Cognitive Pleasures: These come from mental processes. Solving a puzzle, learning something new, or engaging in a stimulating conversation can all bring about pleasure.

  • Emotional Pleasures: Feelings like love, pride, or the joy of achievement are emotional sources of pleasure.

  • Social Pleasures: Being with loved ones, receiving praise, or being part of a group or community can be profoundly satisfying.

  • Aesthetic Pleasures: These are derived from beauty, art, and nature. The sight of a breathtaking sunset, the experience of a powerful movie, or the melodies of an enchanting piece of music belong to this category.

  • Sexual pleasure: sensual, kinky, sexual, energetic, orgasmic pleasure


3. Why is Pleasure Important? Pleasure is essential for several reasons:

  • Motivation: Pleasure acts as a reward mechanism. We’re driven to pursue activities or stimuli that provide pleasure, thus promoting behaviors beneficial for our survival and well-being.

  • Mental Health: Regular experiences of pleasure can combat feelings of sadness, depression, and anxiety. Pleasure acts as a buffer against stress, improving our mental health.

  • Social Bonding: Shared pleasurable experiences can strengthen bonds. This can be seen in activities like communal eating, dancing, or team sports.

  • Learning: The pleasure derived from acquiring new knowledge or mastering a skill can enhance motivation and retention.

4. The Neurochemical Basis of Pleasure Our brain is a sophisticated organ that employs a complex interplay of hormones and neurotransmitters to process pleasure. Some primary agents include:

  • Dopamine: Often dubbed the 'feel-good neurotransmitter,' dopamine is associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation. When you eat a delicious meal or win a prize, dopamine release in the brain’s reward pathways is largely responsible for the pleasure you feel.

  • Endorphins: These are the body's natural painkillers. They're released during activities like exercise (causing the “runner’s high”) and can lead to feelings of euphoria.

  • Oxytocin: Sometimes called the 'love hormone,' oxytocin is released during hugging, touching, and bonding moments. It plays a significant role in social pleasure and maternal behaviors.

  • Serotonin: This neurotransmitter regulates mood, appetite, and sleep. An imbalance can lead to depression, but positive activities like spending time in nature can boost serotonin levels and uplift mood.

5. Pleasure in Orgasm and Orgasmic States Orgasm is a peak pleasure state, often considered the epitome of physical pleasure. It’s a complex phenomenon involving multiple systems of the body:

  • Neurotransmitters and Hormones: Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins are all released during an orgasm, contributing to the intense pleasure and post-orgasm relaxation.

  • Autonomic Nervous System: Orgasm involves both the sympathetic (which readies our body for action) and parasympathetic (which relaxes and calms) systems, leading to heightened sensations and subsequent relaxation.

While orgasms are commonly associated with sexual activity, 'orgasmic states' can also refer to profound experiences of pleasure, unity, or transcendence that aren't necessarily sexual. Activities like meditation, deep musical experiences, or even certain spiritual rituals can induce such states.


Elemental Orgasm

Using the elements (Earth, Water, Air, Fire) as a metaphorical framework to describe different kinds of orgasms is a way to help explore and understand the different sensations that we feel when in orgasm.

1. Earth Orgasm

  • Characteristics: Deep, grounding, and resonating.

  • Description: This kind of orgasm might feel as if it reverberates through the whole body, grounding the person, making them feel connected to their own body and the world around them. It’s stable and strong, lingering like the resonance of a deep bell.

  • Potential Inducers: Prolonged, rhythmic stimulation or deep penetration.

2. Water Orgasm

  • Characteristics: Flowing, enveloping, and overwhelming.

  • Description: Like a river or an ocean wave, this orgasm ebbs and flows, washing over the individual, making them feel consumed by pleasure. It may come in waves, feeling as though it starts small and grows, crashing over the person before receding and then growing again.

  • Potential Inducers: Oral stimulation or the use of toys that offer wavy or pulsating sensations.

3. Air Orgasm

  • Characteristics: Light, fleeting, and cerebral.

  • Description: This is more of a "mental" orgasm. Some people describe orgasms that feel almost as if they are "lifting off" or being carried away on a breeze. It’s not always as physically intense as the others but has a dreamy, ethereal quality.

  • Potential Inducers: Quickies. Orgasms when we aren't engorged. Mental fantasies, erotic literature, or certain kinks and fetishes that are more about the mental play than physical stimulation.

4. Fire Orgasm

  • Characteristics: Intense, consuming, and passionate.

  • Description: Like a wildfire, this orgasm might feel as if it starts from a single spark and then rapidly engulfs the entire body in a blaze of pleasure. It's the kind that can leave someone breathless, the heat of passion radiating long after the climax.

  • Potential Inducers: Intense clitoral stimulation, passionate lovemaking, or situations filled with anticipation and desire.


While these elemental descriptions are figurative and symbolic, they help illustrate the diverse range of orgasmic experiences people can have. Everyone's experience of orgasm is unique, and these elemental types can overlap, mix, and match in countless ways. It's a testament to the multifaceted nature of human sexuality and the myriad ways pleasure can manifest.

When we extend our pleasuring phase

  1. Dopamine: This is the neurotransmitter most commonly associated with the anticipation of pleasure and reward. As a person gets sexually aroused, dopamine levels rise. The "edging" process, which involves building up arousal and then deliberately decreasing it, could lead to sustained elevated levels of dopamine. The anticipation, excitement, and the "reward" cycle of edging might continuously stimulate the dopamine system.

  2. Oxytocin: Often referred to as the "love hormone" or "bonding hormone," oxytocin levels also rise during sexual arousal and peak at orgasm. Prolonged sexual activity might increase oxytocin release, but it's uncertain if edging specifically leads to a more significant cumulative release than a single, uninterrupted path to orgasm.

  3. Endorphins: These are the body's natural painkillers and are associated with feelings of euphoria. They also rise during sexual arousal and peak at orgasm. As with oxytocin, it's not clear if the practice of edging results in a more substantial overall release of endorphins.

  4. Prolactin: This hormone is released after orgasm and is thought to be responsible for the refractory period (the period after orgasm when it's difficult or impossible to become aroused again). Prolactin levels spike significantly after orgasm. There's some evidence suggesting that more extended or more intense orgasms might result in a more pronounced prolactin response.

It's worth noting that the experience of pleasure isn't solely dictated by the quantity of these chemicals. The interplay between them, combined with individual differences in sensitivity, brain structure, and past experiences, all contribute to the overall experience of pleasure.

Scientifically, it's challenging to quantify if and how much more of these "pleasure chemicals" are released during prolonged sexual activity versus shorter durations. Still, many people who practice edging report more intense or satisfying climaxes.

Lastly, it's essential to understand that everyone's experience of sexual pleasure is unique. What works for one person might not work for another.

When we feel too busy for pleasure Busy people often find themselves in the relentless cycle of work and responsibilities, leaving little time for relaxation and pleasure. However, it's crucial for everyone, regardless of how packed their schedules are, to find moments of joy and contentment. Here are ways in which busy individuals can experience pleasure, followed by reasons why they should prioritize doing so:

Ways Busy People Can Experience Pleasure:

  1. Mindful Breaks: Take 5-minute breaks during work to engage in deep breathing or simply step outside for fresh air. Even a short pause can rejuvenate the mind.

  2. Quick Physical Activity: Engage in brief exercises like stretching or walking. A quick walk around the block or office can offer both physical and mental relief.

  3. Tune into Music: Listen to a favorite song or calming music. Even if it's in the background, it can uplift the mood.

  4. Short Meditations: Use meditation apps that offer short, guided sessions. These can be done anytime, anywhere, and can significantly reduce stress.

  5. Savoring Food: Instead of rushing through meals, take the time to truly taste and enjoy them. Even a few minutes of mindful eating can be pleasurable.

  6. Connect with Loved Ones: A quick call or text to a friend or family member can brighten up the day and strengthen emotional bonds.

  7. Nature Moments: If there’s a window view with nature, take a minute to look outside. If possible, keep a plant on the desk. Nature has a calming effect on our psyche.

  8. Positive Affirmations: Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Keeping a post-it note with a positive affirmation can make a difference.

  9. Reading: Even if it’s just for a few minutes, dive into a book or article that interests you.

  10. Aromatherapy: Use essential oils or scented candles to invigorate or relax the senses.

Why They Should Experience Pleasure:

  1. Enhanced Productivity: Taking short breaks for pleasure can boost productivity, as they can refresh the mind and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

  2. Improved Mental Health: Regular doses of pleasure combat feelings of burnout, depression, and anxiety.

  3. Stress Reduction: Pleasurable activities stimulate the release of endorphins, the body's natural stress-relievers.

  4. Better Decision Making: A relaxed and pleasured mind tends to make more rational and less impulsive decisions.

  5. Boosted Immunity: Reduced stress and increased positivity can bolster the immune system, making you less susceptible to illnesses.

  6. Improved Relationships: Taking out time for pleasure often involves connecting with others, leading to improved personal and professional relationships.

  7. Enhanced Creativity: A break from the usual grind can ignite creativity and foster innovative ideas.

  8. Greater Job Satisfaction: Those who find moments of pleasure in their day tend to be more satisfied with their jobs.

  9. Increased Longevity: Reduced chronic stress and increased feelings of happiness can lead to longer, healthier lives.

Pleasure in Asexuality Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any gender. However, this doesn't mean that asexual individuals cannot or do not want to experience intimacy, connection, and pleasure in other forms. Everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, can tap into various activities and experiences that stimulate pleasure, connection, and the release of endorphins and other hormones.

Ways Asexual Individuals Can Experience Pleasure and Connection:

  1. Physical Touch: Hugging, cuddling, holding hands, or even getting a massage can stimulate the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "bonding hormone" or "love hormone". These non-sexual physical interactions can foster deep feelings of intimacy and connection.

  2. Emotional Bonding: Deep and meaningful conversations, sharing personal stories, and being vulnerable can lead to feelings of closeness and trust with another individual. This type of emotional intimacy can be as fulfilling, if not more so, than physical intimacy for many people.

  3. Engaging in Activities Together: Doing activities that both parties enjoy, like cooking, hiking, painting, or even watching movies, can strengthen bonds. Shared experiences often create lasting memories and connections.

  4. Meditation and Mindfulness: Engaging in meditative practices can stimulate feelings of peace, contentment, and connection with oneself and the universe. Some people report feelings of bliss and ecstasy during deep meditation, which can be likened to the feelings derived from sexual pleasure.

  5. Exercise: Physical activities, especially aerobic ones like running, swimming, or dancing, can induce the "runner's high", which is a rush of endorphins that produce feelings of euphoria.

  6. Music and Arts: Engaging with or creating art, listening to music, singing, or playing an instrument can be deeply pleasurable and evoke powerful emotions. These activities can stimulate the release of dopamine, the "feel-good" neurotransmitter.

  7. Nature: Spending time in nature, be it hiking, gardening, or simply sitting in a park, can induce feelings of peace and contentment. Being in nature can reduce cortisol levels (stress hormone) and increase feelings of well-being.

  8. Learning and Mastery: The process of learning something new or mastering a skill can provide a dopamine rush similar to that experienced during sexual activities.

  9. Acts of Kindness: Helping others, whether through volunteering, acts of service, or simple gestures of kindness, can elicit feelings of happiness and satisfaction.

  10. Spiritual Practices: For those inclined, spiritual practices, rituals, or attending communal gatherings can evoke feelings of connection, peace, and transcendence.

Pleasure for people with Anorgasmia

Anorgasmia is a medical term that refers to a person's regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, which causes them personal distress. It can be a complex issue that arises from various causes, including medical, hormonal, psychological, and situational factors.


Though as we can see, peak orgasm is not necessary for us to experience pleasure, and a lot can be said for what can happen in our pleasure when we don't focus on orgasm. Therefore, people who are experiencing anorgasmia can reframe their experience and take this opportunity to explore what is possible in pleasure beyond peak orgasms.


That being said, peak orgasm or climax is still something that can be experienced by people who are living with anorgasmia. Some things we recommend for peeps want to begin experiencing or reconnecting to their peak orgasms are:


  1. Professional Support: Seeking the guidance of a sex therapist, sex coach or counselor can help address underlying psychological or emotional issues.

  2. Medical Check-up: An underlying medical issue, such as certain medications or conditions like diabetes, can be a cause of anorgasmia. A consultation with a medical professional can help rule out or address these factors.

  3. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness, especially during intimate moments, can help one stay in the present and heighten sensations. Guided erotic meditations are also available that focus on building sensual energy and awareness.

  4. Pelvic Diaphragm Exercises: These can enhance sensation. For some, they can also intensify orgasms or help in achieving them. This should be done with a professional so as to not damage the muscles in your pelvic diaphragm.

  5. Sensate Focus: This is a technique often recommended by sex therapists. It involves a series of exercises where partners take turns touching each other to focus on sensation rather than orgasm.

  6. Exploring Erogenous Zones: The entire body can be a source of pleasure. Moving the focus away from the genitals and exploring other areas, like the neck, ears, or inner thighs, can lead to intense sensations.

  7. Experiment with Toys: Vibrators or other sexual aids might provide more intense or varied stimulation than is achievable through traditional means.

  8. Hormonal Therapies: For post-menopausal women, estrogen (topical or systemic) can sometimes alleviate anorgasmia. Testosterone therapy is also being researched as a potential treatment, but its use is still controversial. Always consult with a medical professional before starting any hormonal treatments.

  9. Alternative Therapies: Acupuncture and hypnotherapy have been explored as potential treatments for anorgasmia, though more research is needed in these areas.

  10. Educate and Communicate: Understanding one's own body through self-exploration and communicating preferences with a partner can play a significant role in enhancing sexual experiences.

  11. Reframing the Goal: It's essential to understand that intimacy and pleasure are not solely about orgasm. By focusing on the journey rather than the destination, one can find joy in the sensations and connection that intimate moments bring, regardless of whether they culminate in an orgasm.


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