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  • Writer's pictureKiki Maree

M is for Microchimerism

In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, it's natural to reflect on our past experiences, including our intimate relationships. But for many peeps, lingering concerns about past sexual partners can stir up feelings of uncertainty and unease. Questions may arise: Can the DNA of past partners still affect me? How can I cleanse myself of the energy of past partners? What practices can empower me after intimacy?


It's time to unravel the mysteries surrounding these concerns and empower ourselves with knowledge and understanding.


Debunking the Myths on Microchimerism

Let's start by dispelling some common myths surrounding the idea of carrying the DNA of past sexual partners:


Myth: DNA from past partners can permanently alter my genetic makeup.

Fact: While the concept of "male microchimerism" suggests the presence of foreign cells in the body after sexual intercourse with a male, the idea that DNA from past sexual partners can permanently alter a woman's/vulva haver's genetic makeup is largely unfounded. DNA is remarkably stable and resistant to change under normal circumstances, and the exchange of genetic material during sexual intercourse does not lead to permanent alterations in DNA.


Myth: Microchimerism is inherently harmful or dangerous.

Fact: Contrary to popular belief, microchimerism is not inherently harmful or dangerous. In fact, research suggests that the presence of foreign cells in the body, including those from past sexual partners, may have potential benefits for maternal health. While the exact implications of microchimerism are still being studied, it's important to approach this phenomenon with curiosity and an open mind.


Understanding Microchimerism

Microchimerism refers to the presence of a small number of cells containing genetic material from another individual within the body. In the context of women & vulva havers, fetal microchimerism refers to the presence of small numbers of cells containing the genetic material of the fetus within the mother's body. These cells can persist for years, or even decades, after childbirth. They are thought to play a role in maternal immune tolerance during pregnancy and may have long-term effects on maternal health. There is also research suggesting this can happen through sexual intercourse.


While the exact mechanisms of how these cells persist in the body are not fully understood, research suggests that they may play a role in maternal immune tolerance and potentially have long-term effects on health.


Empowering Perspectives

Rather than viewing microchimerism as a cause for concern, let's embrace empowering perspectives:

  1. Celebrating Our Bodies: Our bodies are incredible, resilient vessels capable of remarkable feats. Instead of dwelling on the past, let's celebrate our bodies' ability to adapt and evolve over time.

  2. Embracing Diversity: Microchimerism highlights the interconnectedness of human biology and the complex interactions that shape our health and well-being. Let's embrace the diversity within our bodies and appreciate the unique journey that each of us takes.

  3. Prioritizing Self-Care: Regardless of past experiences, prioritizing self-care and well-being is essential. Whether it's through nourishing foods, regular exercise, or mindfulness practices, let's honor our bodies and nurture ourselves from the inside out.

  4. Learning moments: our pasts are not something we should feel shame over. Each action and experience we have taken and had have been a part of our journey, with each moment a gem of wisdom, beauty, knowledge, learning, growing and evolution When we cultivate. compassion with our past, when we seek to understand, to love, we can bring with us what we need to move on, and truly, truly, let go of what does not serve us.

  5. Seeking Support: If lingering concerns about past sexual partners continue to weigh heavily on your mind, don't hesitate to seek support from trusted friends, loved ones, or healthcare professionals. Remember, you're not alone, and there is strength in reaching out for help when needed.


Exploring Sexual Energy Ties

The notion that we carry the energy of someone we've been intimate with is a concept deeply embedded in various cultural beliefs, spiritual practices, and even modern discourse surrounding sexuality and relationships, and is rooted in the understanding that our energetic fields interact and exchange with others during intimate moments.


While this idea may resonate with some individuals, it's important to critically examine its validity and the potential implications it carries.


One of the primary issues with the concept of carrying someone else's energy after intimacy is that it can inadvertently perpetuate harmful beliefs and contribute to feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety surrounding sexual experiences. By framing intimate encounters as exchanges of energy that can leave a lasting imprint on individuals, it may inadvertently pathologize natural human experiences and contribute to stigma surrounding sexuality.


Additionally, the concept of carrying someone else's energy can blur the lines between personal agency and external influence. It may suggest that individuals are passive vessels for absorbing the energy of others, undermining their autonomy and ability to navigate their own emotional landscapes.


Furthermore, attributing emotional experiences solely to the energy of a sexual partner oversimplifies the complex dynamics at play in intimate relationships. Emotions are multifaceted and influenced by a myriad of factors, including individual differences, past experiences, and social contexts. Focusing solely on the energy of a sexual partner neglects the role of these broader factors in shaping emotional experiences.


Lastly, it can create a sex negative culture around female sexuality, exploration and promiscuity (as you don't often hear of male bodied people feeling as though they have been imprinted on in this way).


Ultimately, while the concept of carrying someone else's energy after intimacy may hold personal significance for some individuals within certain cultural or spiritual frameworks, it's important to approach it with critical thinking and skepticism. Rather than relying on abstract notions of energy exchange, it's crucial to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and consent in navigating intimate relationships.


Embracing the Power of Energy

With that being said, it is clear that our bodies are not just physical vessels but also energetic beings, deeply intertwined with the world around us. While this concept may not be scientifically measurable in the traditional sense, and may carry some problematic notions, many individuals may deeply resonate with the idea of energetic connections and therefore seek ways to cleanse and release unwanted energies. If this is you, I have included not only strategies for self-care after intimacy with someone, but also some practices for energy cleansing should you feel called:


Honoring Self-Care Practices


  1. Mindful Awareness: Cultivate mindful awareness of your body and emotions after intimate encounters. Take moments to check in with yourself, acknowledging any sensations or feelings that arise without judgment. Seek ways in which you can move this energy through your body, versus leaving it stagnant.

  2. Breathwork and Meditation: Engage in breathwork and meditation practices to center yourself and release stagnant energy. Focus on deep, intentional breaths to cleanse and purify your energetic field.

  3. Water Rituals: Water has long been revered for its cleansing and purifying properties. Take a soothing bath or shower after intimacy, visualizing the water washing away any lingering energies that no longer serve you. You can also visit a beach or ideally a waterfall.

  4. Journaling and Reflection: Process your thoughts and emotions through journaling and reflection. Write down any insights or revelations that come to you, allowing yourself to express and release what needs to be acknowledged. You may like to put on some music have a dance and sing and cry and write all of your emotions out on to paper to burn and release.

  5. Crystals and Sacred Objects: Incorporate crystals, sacred objects, or symbols into your self-care rituals. Choose stones or talismans that resonate with you and use them to amplify your intentions for cleansing and renewal. Yoni eggs can be used in this way.

  6. Professional support: it can be truly beautiful to have sacred space held for you to process intimacy that is not sitting well for you, such as a somatic sex coach or therapeutic yoni massage practitioner.



Empowering Perspectives

As we explore the concept of energy cleansing after intimacy, it's important to approach these practices with openness and empowerment:

  1. Honoring Your Intuition: Trust your intuition and inner wisdom as you navigate your self-care journey. Listen to the subtle whispers of your soul and honor what feels true and authentic for you.

  2. Self-Compassion and Acceptance: Embrace self-compassion and acceptance as you engage in energy cleansing rituals. Be gentle with yourself and allow space for healing and growth to unfold naturally.

  3. Setting Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationships to honor your needs and desires. Communicate openly and assertively with your partners about your boundaries and preferences.

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