Anthropologists state that mouth to mouth kissing dates back to 326 BCE, where it began in India and spread to Europe. From here, the act of kissing has made its way to many modern western societies. However, there are said to be more than half of 168 diverse cultures that do not us a romantic-sexual kiss. but rather show their affection for each other in other ways, such as exchanging breath.
I am personally very grateful for the spread of this delicious activity.. so too are many happy couples, as research on kissing suggests that couples who kiss more frequently experience more relationships satisfaction than those who kissed less frequently (Dunbar & Wlodarksi, 2013).
There is no wonder, considering that kissing releases both oxytocin (cuddle and bonding hormone) as well as dopamine (dope- a mine... you get it right?), among other happy hormones.
What happens, then, when you experience a kiss with an incompatible kisser?
Is a relationship doomed to be unsatisfying, right from the start?
Kissing can be like a dance of the lips, tongues and teeth, and if one doesn't follow the other, it can feel like you are kissing with two left feet!
Personal share... Jesse and I went through the strangest phase in our kissing journey!
Suddenly, 1.5 years into our relationship, our kissing fell apart. My suspicion is that this change was due to the settling down of some of our limerence, and reality kicking in.
For more on limerence check out my recent reel on it, my Nude News article on it, or listen to the podcast episode "Love, Lust & Limerence" by Eleanor Hadley.
As you can imagine, Jesse and I were at a bit of a loss with our strange kissing encounters, until I remembered a situation with a past girlfriend of mine where her and I were both "leaders" when we kissed- as neither of us knew how to follow!
I shared this with Jesse before testing it out, and it turned out, that was the case for us also! So we spent the afternoon in a kissing workshop, experimenting, communicating, and pushing our comfort zones, and it was a HUGE success! Now we can't get enough of each other's kisses!
I know that this post may come as a bit of a shock and a little strange for those of you who potentially see me as a sex guru
...
but sex is a journey for everyone!
Including sex coaches!
And if you have never been on the end of a clunky and this makes no sense to you... yay!
Though do feel free to take this as a tip for potential future clunkiness ... or to share with friends that report back to you about their first date bad kisses.
And for those of you who know exactly what I am talking about, maybe those past "bad" kisses weren't such a fail, and maybe your current not-so-amazing pash sessions may have hope after all, which could be a simple quick chat and exploration away!
Much love to you allll Kiki xx