Our sexual partners cannot read our mind…
The first step to reclaiming our sexual sovereignty, & taking responsibility for our pleasure is to cease any form of tolerating.
This can mean tolerating pain. Tolerating boredom. Tolerating discomfort etc.
The only person who can take this step is you.
If tolerating has become normalised in your sexuality you are not alone. I work with so many people (primarily vulva havers) who tolerate in s-ex. This unhealthy behaviour can lead to not only an aversion to s-ex, but also trauma stored within the yoni, among other issues, such as missing out on an opportunity for shared pleasure & intimacy.
Sure it can be really difficult to create change in these normalised patterns, however the pay off is so worth it.. imagine that all of your sexual experiences are pleasurable FOR YOU!
Here are just a few things to help you to stop tolerating in s-ex
1. Check out the “Premium Pleasure Package” below as it goes deep into these aspects & more (made for vulva-havers and lovers of vulva havers).
2. gain an understanding of your anatomy & erotic body so you know what to create space for more of (& therefore stop the things that do not support this)
3. gain an understanding of what you actually like- what are your kinks? What are your desires? What lights you up? What do you respond to? (Again so that you can start including more of these things rather than the things that you are simply putting up with)
4. Create a safe space to communicate this with your partner (so that your partner is in the know of what your unique body enjoys & what your unique desires are). If this kind of connection and communication is overwhelming for you I have created the Ultimate Love Artist Bundle for couples/people who are wanting to be in a sexually healthy relationship, which includes the Art of Love Making, Conscious Kink, Yoni Worship and Lingam worship (made for both vulva and penis havers).
5. experiment & explore with your partner and drop your sexual egos together so you can learn while having fun
Hehe while I adore the clip in this video below, I wanted to share it is to highlight the fact that we need to COMMUNICATE where our clit/other pleasure zones are if we want our partners to get it right. Our pleasure is not up to them!
I find that vulva havers who have pleasured other vulvas get this- it is not always so easy! Vulvae are all different & each vulva haver enjoys different things!
So, if you ever find yourself thinking 💭 “I wish they would move here or there”… SAY IT!