Sex is commonly defined as "sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse", aka penetration.
Yet sex sooo much more than penetration of toys, fingers and/or penises.
Even though sex between lesbian couples includes penetration, in my experience, the goal or focus is not on penetration. The entire body is involved, slowness is involved, performance is far less likely, rushing i far less likely, faking is far less likely, and the goal of penetration and ejaculation is non existent, which creates a delicious play of exploration, excitation leading to orgasmic states. Research shows that because of this, lesbian couples experience far more sexual satisfaction that heterosexual female.
If this insight interests you, I would like you to ask yourself, what does sex mean to you? Have you taken on the misguidance of the dictionary, consciously or unconsciously? If so, what else could sex be?
Jesse and I have designed our sex life to include things like dance, skin time, singing, massage, dressing up and role-playing, different kinds of touch, edging, and more. We also bring sexuality into so many different aspects of our lives, such as when grocery shopping, out climbing or cooking in the kitchen. Suddenly everything and anything can be intimate, sensual and/or sexual, yet there is no pressure to be penetrated or orgasm. If this happens, then great, but it is not the main focus.
Do you remember what it was like before you had ever shared penetrative sex with your beloveds and / or lovers? This is the kind of yummy energy Jesse and I like to cultivate.
Do you remember how the arousal would build, the wetness would seep into your pants, and your genitals would throb? This glorious orgasmic state of bliss is something that we all yearn for, and is something that many of us miss once we begin having penetrative sex, in our rush to do the deed.
It is amazing how often I see a skipping of sensuality, with a mad rush into penetration, and complete lack of build of up yummy arousal and orgasmic states in sex scenes shown in media. It is no wonder we are missing a huge part of our sexuality when our cultural representation of partnered pleasure looks this way.
What does YOUR sexual menu include?
Are there ways in which it can it be more expansive, fun and fruitful in order to bring on this delicious desire?
If so, is there anything that is holding you back from exploring your sexuality beyond what you have always done?
If so, how does this resistance to exploration limit you in your sexuality?
On another note, how does it help you to feel safe?
The questions are not to make you feel any less-than or inadequate in your sexuality, but to rather give you some introspective prompts to connect to dormant desires that may be within you.
If you would like some new practices and new skills that will help you to expand your sex wayyyy beyond penetration, Jesse ands I have created the Ultimate Love Artist bundle of yummy courses including
- Lingam Worship
- Yoni Worship
- Art of Love Making
- Conscious Kink
at a crazy discounted price from Feb 14th until March 14th.
So! If up-skilling and expanding your and/or your partner's sexuality and sensuality is something that feels exciting for you, check out the yummy bundle of courses offered int he Ultimate Love Artist package!
Much love to you allll, Kiki xx