Updated: Apr 14
I began learning this beautiful practice when I was in my late twenties, through both receiving and giving them. In my training over the years I have been lucky enough to learn from a variety of practitioners, each having their own medicine and scope of practice.
What is a therapeutic yoni massage?
I would like to first speak into what the yoni is in general. The word yoni has multiple meanings, including sacred space, or source or life. The anatomy of the yoni includes the vulva, vagina and womb. In a yoni massage you may have all three areas massaged in some way, though I will share more details on what is involved in a moment.
First I would like to speak into the difference between a therapeutic yoni massage and a regular yoni massage. A regular yoni massage oftentimes includes a build up of sexual energy through stimulation of the pleasure centres, while a therapeutic yoni massage does not involve any kind of arousal, as there is not adequate attention or stimulation of the pleasure centres of the yoni to build arousal.
A typical yoni massage experience with me would look a little like this:
A check in over the phone or online with he receiver for anything that I should be aware of prior to our session.
A beautifully prepared space- females are very receptive to their environment. Rose petals, chocolate, roses, tea, candles, essential oils etc.
Connecting in with one another through meditation and open-hearted sharing of desires, blockages, boundaries, a mini anatomy lesson and a rough outline of what the sessions entails.
I give my receiver a full body massage with organic high quality oils, focusing on the points of access to the yoni, such as reflexology points on the feet, the lower back and abdomen, the inner thighs, the breasts and the jaw. All the while breathing deep and long so that the receiver remembers to do the same.
Once I have massaged the whole body, apart from the yoni, I check in with the receiver and ask for permission to massage her yoni. Once I have permission I use gloves and massage the entire vulva. This is where the massage shifts from a passive massage to an active one. We open up a dialogue, where I share with the receiver where I am massaging, and the receiver shares with me what she is feeling.
During the session we look for sensations of pleasure, pressure, pain and/or numbness. If there is pleasure we take just a moment or two to map out this pleasure an honour it. If there is pressure we note that maybe this is simply unactivated in this therapeutic context or not a sensitive zone for the receiver. If there is pain we stay until the pain shifts or until the receiver feels to move on, and if there is numbness we stay until there is sensation or the receiver feels to move on.
I practice various techniques along with the massage to help shift pain and numbness, all the while listening to the body, words, and yoni of the receiver. If there is time we move from the vulva and massage the vagina as well as the tip of the cervix. I help the receiver understand different parts of the yoni, mapping out where she may like to explore deeper either alone or with a beloved.
The session in total takes around 3 hours, though there is the option to extend should it be necessary. Once the sessions finishes the sister is left alone to integrate. We close the session over some more tea and sharing should the receiver feel up to it.
My first experience of tantric yoni massage
Early in my journey I was fortunate enough to have a lover who also initiated me into tantra and would give me tantric and yoni massages, without expecting anything from me. It was strange for me to experience a lover touching my genitalia without a goal to orgasm, but to simply explore what was present and possible moment by moment. I found the experience extremely healing and eye-opening to what was possible in this realm. This beloved taught me many things about female sexuality that I will be forever grateful for.
My first experience of yoni massage from a therapeutic practitioner
I booked in with a well known female practitioner who took me on a journey to meet my vaginal pain. The yoni massage section part of the session was very communicative and explorative, as are my sessions. For most of the session I was writhing on the bed in immense pain, almost unable to bear it. However I knew I needed to "go there", to go into my pain, to release all that I had stored in my yoni. I had experienced pain in my bliss spot for as long as I could remember and this one session eased it. I then knew that this was my path.
My first experience of yoni massage as a mystical journey
This last experience felt to be a blend of the other two that I mentioned. There was no talking, as was with my first experience of yoni massage, yet there was also no pain. It wasn't arousing necessarily, but rather expansive. I felt as though I had drifted, or melted may be a better word, into the cosmos. Time and space no longer existed. Both the giver and I were travelling through a galaxy of feminine energy. It was beautiful.
Why would someone want to get a yoni massage?
This is a great question. I mean, the idea in our current culture is mind-boggling to many. Allowing someone in to this sacred space, into the most vulnerable parts of our being, and paying someone to do it?
I know for many receivers that I speak to they just feel "called" for want of a better word. For some, the term just kept popping up for them and peaked their curiosity so much so that they felt like they needed to see what this yoni massage was all about for themselves. For others they heard of it once and knew this was something that they wanted. Some also felt called to do this work themselves but wanted to try it first. Some receivers felt they had no reason but to try new things. And, of course, many feel as though a yoni massage may be the key to their current concerns. And for many it is.
This practice is profoundly healing. I have seen first hand sisters heal various degrees of occasional to chronic pain and numbness in just one or two sessions. Yoni massage is a way to speak directly to the body, directly to the subconscious. It is a way to honour and explore the body without expecting anything in return. It is a way to cultivate a relationship with the yoni, to hear its yes, and its no. It is a way to shift stagnant energy, to bring blood flow, to reawaken. It is a way to look fears dead in the face and say, "I love you". It is a way to give back to a place that has only ever given. It is a way to tap into the magick of the expansive, chaotic, and terribly wise energy of the yoni. It is a way to recreate what pleasure, sex and intimacy means to us.
It is a way to forgive, to remember, to rewrite, to rewire.
It is a gift.
Do it, you will not regret it (just make sure your practitioner is a professional).
Much love everyone! Kiki xx