The mind is a wonderful tool, however if not used in a mindful manner the mind can use the mind's host, us, as a tool instead.
From a very young age our minds have been largely shaped by our surrounding environment, including our family, friends, community and society, which are oftentimes not such healthy and supportive environments.
Our value of self is heavily influenced by these external factors also.
A large part of our programming that happens at this time is due to our need to survive, therefore we pick up behaviours and/or beliefs of the most dominating person in our family/society, either out of a drive for survival or to be accepted and loved.
This is an extensive topic however in this article we will be focusing primarily on body image dysmorphia, which often comes through in our tweens and teens as we change and grow from little girl into womban.
Womben in society are mostly valued for their maiden-self, the young bubbly fertile womban. Womben are also highly valued for our outer appearance, which means that the natural instinct of the feminine to appreciate beauty can fall dangerously in the shadows and become obsession with outer appearance. This shadow trait of obsession can become twisted to the point of distorting our reality.
Body image dysmorphia
Body image dysmorphia is where a person sees themselves in a distorted way.
This is often triggered during puberty, as our uterus grows from the size of a plum to a pear, and our ovaries from the size of grapes to the size of walnuts. Without this vital information on our changing body, womben can go through body image dysmorphia, seeing themselves larger than they truly are. Especially when thin bodies are somewhat worshipped in the fashion industry. This is why we see lots of girls suffering from mild to extreme cases of eating disorders during puberty- and for a lot of us for many years after.
Body Image Dysmorphia and the Vulva
Due to the availability of soft pornography, coupled with the illegality of the inner labia being shown in soft pornography, womben (and men) are not exposed to the varying shapes, colours and sizes of the vulva, and most importantly of the inner labia. This has resulted in many women across much of the globe experiencing body image dysmorphia over the appearance of their vulva, seeing their vulva in ways other than natural and beautiful. Labiaplasty is on the continuous rise for young western womben. It does not help that plastic surgeons are promoting labiaplasty on social media- see here for an example.
Warning** before you scroll down there is a photo of a real vulva taken at a vulva viewing circle at one of my workshops.
Fitting in
It was once important for us to fit in with the tribe so we weren't singled out, however this is no longer needed- yet we still have the tendency to pick apart our perceived "flaws".
This happens most for womben in the "autumn" or "fall" time of our menstrual cycle, which is also the "enchantress" or "maga" stage, and the luteal/premenstrual phase of our cycle, where we are more sensitive to both actual and perceived problems than usual.
The perfect Pussy Program
The vulva is the external genitalia including the mons pubis, inner and outer labia, the clitoral hood, the clitoral shaft, the glans clitoris, the vestibule, the vaginal opening and the urethral opening.
The language that we use for this sacred part of our body is very important. Inner and outer labia is used instead of labia minora and majora, as these terms are Latin for small and large, indicating that the inner labia must be smaller than the outer labia- one subtle form of programming.
Since 2005 inner labia have been airbrushed out of soft porn- the most prominent form of sexual education to boys 12 years onwards.
This means that so many young men are oblivious to the complexity of the inner labia of a womben, which in many cases sees to young men making negative comments to their
partner/lover, sometimes innocently and other times with the intention to hurt.
Couple these prospects with the fact that womben's genitalia are quite discreet (not as much casual comparing in the toilets like with boys), often go unnamed "down there" versus "peepee" at the least, and need a mirror to be seen, it is no wonder that womben with beautiful thick plush inner labia think that there is something wrong with them! And this wounding has often been passed on from mother to daughter, with mother's making negative comments on the appearance of their daughter's yoni :(
This subtle conditioning and distortion of what is natural and beautiful is seeing to a spike in labiaplasty over the last decade- called "the Barbie", with girls as young as 16 seeking surgery, and many others ashamed of their beautiful flowers.
Parts or all of this story may be ringing true for you which is why I have included the Big KUNTA Program in this article to help you.
Much love to you all!!!
Kiki xx